I MADE LIPAT NA! :)

Shit, pare! I made lipat na pala to tumblr!

Visit me at http://www.shitpare.tumblr.com

xx UNO

Pussy! and my xmas wishlist (:

Shit, pare. Don’t be fooled by the title, you horny bastard. Its about the cats sa labas. Its 03:34AM na and I can’t sleep talaga. Badtrip kasi the cats outside eh. They’re making this parang-umiiyak-na-bata sound which is kinda scary I can’t sleep tuloy. I’m not really scared naman. Konti lang. I know naman na mas scary naman yung face of our ugly kapit bahays eh. 

Anyway, Christmas is malapit na talaga. Are you done shopping na ba? I have so many things to buy and I’d like to share them with you. Feel free to share yours too. You know naman siguro how to leave a comment diba. I mean, you’re not like our yaya before na sobrang bobita. I only have three wishes. So yeah, here goes. (more…)

Shit naman our mahihirap na kapit bahays

Shit, pare. I like woke up sa kaingayan ng videoke and tismisan ng mahirap pa sa daga na kapit bahay namin. They’re singing pa the moronic orc’s jovit valde-whatevs last name’s lame ass song with their patanga-tangang accent. So poor naman the karaoke machine they’re using with sabog sabog na sounds. Kadiri.

Hows your weekend guys? Mine was normal. Like inuman lang, shopping and gala lang sa Tagaytay with my mayayaman na friends. I know nga someone making pilit na sumama eh he’s not mayaman naman at all. Like feeling mayaman lang and napaka social climber. Like, you know, making pilit na he is one of us, eh they’re house kaya is sobrang pangit the ipis and the daga kaya decided to transfer to another house. (more…)

I’m back! …i guess

Hello, people! I’m back! Its been forever kaya since I updated this blog, like feb 2011 pa. Someone asked me kasi to revive this blog eh. I’m not sure, just thought I’d give it a try. So how are you guys? Feel free naman to share some kwentos. I miss my readers kaya lalo na the mababahong orcs na mahirap na nakatira near the riles ng train. Bitch. (more…)

My Message to All The Inggiteros and Inggiteras

Hi there! I know its been a reaaaally long time but I’m back. And after a year of being in hiatus, I have decided to revive na my blog. I know naman na I have a lot of readers and most of them are the inggiteros and the inggiterang bullfrogs. Well guess what? I have a message kaya for all of you.

You know naman na this blog is for pang mayaman lang diba, so if deep inside you know you’re mahirap, edi don’t visit na this blog. I suggest you go to hellokitty.com or watch your retarded Mom getting fucked sa redtube.com. Its as simple as that naman eh. I’m not forcing you naman to read kung ano ang meron sa blog ko. Get a life kaya you brainless git. Or if you want naman, be a zombie muna for a day, then eat some brains. We know naman na your IQ is below average eh…Kaya go. Go get some help.

Funny thing is, you know naman na this blog’s contents are all panglalait and some bad stuff, eh you make pilit pa to read this blog. And you have the decency pa to post comment. As if naman I care. Don’t worry. Feel free lang to post comment.

Well anyway, I’ll be updating this blog every week. Talk to you soon. 

Homer Simpson Quotes

Bored. So I decided to post some of my favorite Homer Simpson Quotes I found online. Enjoy!

• “Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!”

 • “Your lives are in the hands of men no smarter than you or I, many of them incompetent boobs. I know this because I worked alongside them, gone bowling with them, watched them pass me over for promotions time and again. And I say… This stinks!”

 • “Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so that it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.”

 • “Don’t mess with the dead, boy, they have eerie powers.” (more…)

…..MENIRAL? WHAT THE FUCK?!

Welcome to Maja Village in Dila, Sta. Rosa, Laguna. Where 90% of Maja’s population is jologs. Like everywhere you go, pare, you’ll find something that will make you think na, “hey, is it just me, or there’s something wrong with this place?” Imagine naman kasi living malapit lang sa public cemetery. No wonder most of the people here looks like patay na nabuhay lang. Maybe they were the ones na nasa “Thriller” video ni Michael Jackson [Oh may your soul NOT rest in peace beecause you really scared me when I was just little]. So nakakatakot na nga because malapit lang sa public cemetery yung village namin, and the tao here pa are parang patay na nabuhay lang, they really should’ve auditioned sa dawn of the living dead movie. (more…)

I can’t help but notice, pare!

So boring today mga pare that’s why I decided na lang to sleep all day since pagod din naman ako sa work. Jologs nga lang what happened on my way home kasi nung nasa bus na ako, there’s this girl na lagi kong nakakasabay. She’s not hot naman [again, she’s not hot], well in fact, sobrang laki kaya ng eyes nya. She’s mejo tomboy-ish pa kumilos, which is okay naman kasi girl on girl action naman looks good pero kung jologs naman the face ng girl, uhm, wag na lang. (more…)

Probinsyano? …or PROBINSYANO!!!

Ok, pare. I’m here sa Ayala and its fucking raining real hard talaga. I didn’t bring my payong pa naman [err..as if i have one. but for formality’s sake, sige i didn’t bring nga my payong]. Additional JOLOGS POINT kasi if you have payong, diba? I mean, you’re wearing your CK pants and Armani shirt, tapos may payong? That makes you, uhm, JOLOGS-er, right?

So…now’s the time that my blog nga pala should upgrade. Parang pokemon lang, madaming experience so need na talaga mag evolve. Same thing pa rin, new look lang and bad-ass posts. Like you don’t know me. =]

So I was with my officemate kanina just outside our office, taking our beloved yosibreak. Traffic so we can see all the vehicles na dumadaan. Then there was this bus, and may pasahero na nakadungaw sa window, na kung makatingin sa mga buildings sa Ayala, it was like first time nya… He acted like a real probinsyano. *clap clap* Bravo. Hooray. It was so clear na back to where he came from, all he can see were bundoks and trees, and baku-bakong daan. Bumalik na lang sana sya form where he came from so he plant his favorite kamote.

Darn. Ubos na yosi namin ni office mate ko. And our beloved fifteen-minute yosi break’s finally over.

Time to go back to work, now, dude. See ‘ya.